writing
Thoughts and reflections
Writing about counselling, identity, relationships, shame, change, and the things we can understand intellectually but still struggle to feel differently about.
Some pieces begin with questions that come up often in counselling. Others sit with experiences that are harder to name, or with patterns we carry without quite realising it.
You do not need to find an answer in every piece. Sometimes recognising something of yourself is enough.
28 August 2026
The cost of being easy to be around
A reflection on what can remain unseen when someone is considered easy or low-maintenance, and what it might be like to stop setting aside your needs for the comfort of others.
7 August 2026
When you're tired of translating yourself
A reflection on the effort of making yourself understandable to others, and how exhausting it can become when parts of your experience need to be explained, softened, or reshaped before they feel allowed to be heard.
31 July 2026
Still a performer, even without a stage
A performer’s sense of identity can outlast the work itself. This piece looks at what it means to hold onto who you are between contracts, productions, or stages
22 July 2026
The shame that doesn't match the facts
The medical reality of living with HIV today can be steady, even when shame is not. This piece looks at that gap, and how isolating it can feel when your own experience isn’t reflected in the public conversation around HIV.
17 July 2026
What if I feel embarrassed about what I bring to counselling?
Some things can feel difficult to say out loud, especially when they feel messy, personal, or hard to explain. Counselling can offer a space to begin slowly, without needing to present a polished version of yourself.
15 July 2026
When the show closes early
When a show closes early, the loss is not only financial. This piece looks at the quieter grief performers and crew can carry when the identity built around a show ends before its time.
10 July 2026
What if I get emotional in counselling?
A lot of people worry about crying, going quiet, or losing their words in a session. If emotions come up in counselling, the pace can slow down. There can be a pause, a moment to breathe, and no rush back to composure.
3 July 2026
When you’re not sure what you feel
Feelings do not always arrive clearly. Sometimes they are quiet, mixed, or hard to name. Counselling can offer a space to slow things down and gently notice what is present, without needing to have everything worked out before you begin.
26 June 2026
When you find yourself editing what you say
Some people become so used to adjusting themselves around others that self-editing starts to feel automatic. Counselling can offer a space to notice that pattern with care, and begin making room for words that do not have to arrive perfectly.
19 June 2026
When you’re used to making room for everyone else
Some people become so used to considering others that their own needs become harder to notice. Counselling can offer a space to slow that pattern down and begin turning attention back toward your own experience.
12 June 2026
When you keep telling yourself it’s not that bad
Sometimes people wait to reach out because they have learned to minimise what they are carrying. Counselling can offer a space to slow down, notice what has been pushed aside, and give the quieter things enough room to be understood
8 June 2026
Pride, identity, and the complexity of belonging
Pride can be a time of celebration, visibility, and connection. It can also bring up more complicated feelings around safety, grief, shame, identity, and belonging. This reflection explores how counselling can offer space for the parts of ourselves that have not always felt free to be seen.
5 June 2026
When insight isn’t the same as change
Understanding a pattern can be important, but it does not always mean change happens straight away. Counselling can offer a space to slow things down, notice familiar responses with more care, and begin to find small moments of choice.
29 May 2026
When the same patterns keep repeating
The same patterns can show up in relationships, work, self-criticism, or the ways we manage pressure. Counselling can offer a space to slow those patterns down, understand them with more care, and begin to notice where something different may be possible.
22 May 2026
What if I’m used to handling things on my own?
Some people are used to getting on with things, even when life feels difficult underneath. Counselling can offer a space to notice what you have been carrying, and what it might be like not to hold it all alone.
15 May 2026
How do I know if counselling is right for me?
You don’t need to be completely certain before beginning counselling. Sometimes the first step comes from a quiet sense that something needs attention, or that it might help to have space to talk things through.
8 May 2026
What happens in a first counselling session?
A first counselling session is often a gentle starting point. Alongside some practical details, such as confidentiality and how sessions work, there is space to begin talking about what has brought you there at a pace that feels manageable.
1 May 2026
What is counselling actually like?
Many people aren’t quite sure what to expect from counselling. It’s often imagined as being analysed or told what to do, but it can be a quieter space to slow down, be heard, and explore what’s going on at your own pace.
24 April 2026
What if I don't know what to say in counselling?
Starting counselling can bring up the worry that you won’t know what to say. You don’t need to arrive with a clear explanation or the right words. Not knowing where to start can still be a beginning.
17 April 2026
You don't need to be in crisis to come to counselling
Counselling doesn’t have to begin at breaking point. Sometimes there is simply a sense that something is not quite right. Wanting support, clarity, or space to reflect can be enough to begin.
Need Support?
If something you read here brings something up for you, or connects with something you have been trying to make sense of, you are welcome to get in touch.